You Can Make A Pretty Girl Spiritual But You Can’t Make A Spiritual Girl Pretty!

You Can Make A Pretty Girl Spiritual But You Can’t Make A Spiritual Girl Pretty!

Or so goes the (somewhat daft) saying! I don’t publish too much on the issue of singleness and dating on this blog. It’s not that I have nothing to say but it is just such an emotive subject that pretty much every ‘single’ person I know will be assuming I am talking about them (which I am not). The Gospel Coalition blog has discussed the issue under the heading: “Do Looks Matter?” Read it here. It takes an interesting angle despite that fact that the piece is somewhat blown by the “pretty” couple (perfect hair, teeth etc) in the frame. I do hope they were being ironic.

Is there a “Mr or Mrs Right” out there for everyone? I don’t know. I’m not even sure I even believe in the term. There are lots of “Mr and Mrs Imperfect” out there. The question is can we learn to love and appreciate somebody who doesn’t match our expectations 100%? I know those who can’t – and they remain single. I know those who can and have learned to deeply love and appreciate one another.

I want to say that singleness is not the end of the world but I know that this is a truism seldom proffered by single people. However, it is not a disease. It’s even biblical for some! Many people set the bar too low when it comes to looking for a soul mate. On the other hand, far too many set the bar impossibly high.

Should looks come into it? Of course they should. I know I’m supposed to be all pastoral and say that it’s the inside that counts. But who wants to live with a gargoyle for the rest of their lives? The problem comes when looks are in the driving seat. When finding perfection becomes the main thing. “Well, I know someone who’s found a smoking hot girlfriend and she’s deeply spiritual,” I hear you cry. That’s a lie. We’re all ugly and damaged somewhere. The fall and our own selfish, sin stained hearts have seen to that. Even the pretty people have to fight off the ugliness at some level. Once the novelty of perfect teeth and great legs has worn off what are you left with? That’s the question. Can you learn to love that imperfect soul that lies within? Because if that is too ugly or deeply scarred then that’s when the real problems are going to begin. Real beauty will always rise to the fore even as father time does his work as the years roll by. Love at first sight is great for the movies but the reality is that intense expressions of love are forged through the trials and battles of a life together.

It’s always good to remind ourselves of the gospel when thinking of about this issue (any issue for that matter). Ugly, rotten sinners like you and I, with no beauty or attractive features, saved by King Jesus. Remember He chose us in our fallen state. He chose to love us in our ugliness. I, for one, am glad of His immeasurable grace and deep love in my life. It reminds me that any love I possess within is the result of His continuing work in my life and not because I am such a wonderful person.