Sexual Detox – A guide for guys who are sick of porn by Tim Challies (Cruciform press, 2010)
This is a small book (about 85 pages in length with some appendices at the back) looking at some of the issues around sex. Given its size, it does not offer us any kind of biblical depth concerning the issue but it does at least raise the very real porn problem sweeping through much of our culture in the West.
It looks at how pornography damages relationships because it is, by its very nature, something selfish. Marriage, on the other hand, is about the union of two people. ‘Sex is intended to be a means of mutual fulfilment, an expression of love in which a husband thinks foremost of his wife, and the wife thinks foremost of her husband. As they fulfil each other’s needs, they also have their needs fulfilled. It is a beautiful picture of intimacy!’ (p41)
He has an interesting little chapter on masturbation with some helpful questions to think about at the end (as does each chapter). Also, about two thirds of the way in he tries to deal with the issue of what is and isn’t acceptable in the bedroom (something dealt with in more graphic detail by Mark Driscoll in his Peasant Princess series on Song of Songs). He recommends that before engaging in any bedroom activity we should consider the following: (1) Where is your heart in this? (2) Is this the act of a conqueror or a servant? What he means is that much of pornography and sexual fantasy is about domination whereas biblical sex is about mutual loving. (3) Does this bring pleasure to one or both? (4) Does this trouble either your conscience or hers? (5) Can you thank God for this?
Was it helpful? I suppose so. The problem with it was that it was very Bible ‘lite’. I know I am going to get into trouble for saying that because Challies is very popular in the ‘blogosphere’ at the moment (I am one of his admirers incidentally). Scripture does not explicitly address pornography and masturbation and I felt the book could have better gotten to grips with the whole issue of lust, idolatry and the heart. But, still a helpful starting point and maybe something to give to the men in your church in order to start discussion and encourage more accountability in this area.